All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

Happy 4th of July! Aahppee vohrvv duuhlaii!

The late Bertrand Russell is one of my best friends. Duhhlll tahbb brrdehrrnnd ruzzullzz uhhnvv muhhbbzz duhvv rehnds.

The problem with Game of Thrones is that all the lessons are so bleak. O.K., this is a zombie blog. Zombies are a little bleak. But Game of Thrones can stand up there with any major urban outbreak of the undead. It’s exactly that cheery — though eminently watchable and I recommend the series. I guess… Read More

Stay inside the wall.  Make sure the wall is secure.Zombie version of the lesson: Stay indoors. Board up the windows. Of course, all lessons have exceptions. Most of the dangers in life lurk outside one’s walls. If that situation changes, well, so do the rules. Rules should never been more than guidelines for a person… Read More

I really like dragons. Ahhhrrlee luhhggddd ahhrguhhn.

Best quote: “A man’s got to know his limitations.” General lessons from Magnum Force: 1) Officer Friendly is not always your friend. 2) Never be Harry’s partner. 3) Before you proposition a random cop in the hallway, ask him out for coffee first. Avoid all men with bombs in their mailboxes. Lessons applied to dealing with zombies. 1) Officer Friendly… Read More

I always shop at the Goodwill like Virg. Ahhhwwzz ahhptt guhhhduhllllluhh biirjjj.

One of the best movie quotes ever: “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your… Read More

No zombies at the post office. No one on the phone either. Abby yelled at them. She and I agreed that it was actually a pretty nifty system: The phone always gives a busy signal. No one from the outside can reach you. In Stephen King’s book “Cell,” a pulse sent through phones turns people into zombies. With… Read More

Is it the first sign of the Apocalypse? For over half an hour, the Northbrook Post Office on Dundee has been unreachable. All we get is a “busy signal.” A courageous young girl named Abby is about to go investigate. Updates to follow.