All posts in May 2012

We’re going downtown tomorrow.

Uuhrgghee ahngownd muhhroh.

Nuff said.

Many people naturally want to know what happened to those zombies from the Great Uprising of 1927.  They’re obviously not hanging out on Biloxi beaches.

I suspect any survivors are somewhere inside Area 51. Not all the aliens our government has sequestered come from other planets.

Reconstructing historical events and putting the pieces together is always a challenge. Perusing the events of 1927 at first looks unpromising. Al Jolson released the first talking motion picture, “The Jazz Singer.” The Holland Tunnel opened.  Work began on Mt. Rushmore. Josef Stalin took control of Russia, expelling Trotsky. On May 22, some 200,000 people in Xining, China, died from an earthquake measuring 8.6 on Richter scale. Just one day earlier, Charles Lindbergh had completed the first transatlantic solo flight in The Spirit of Saint Louis. Which of these events, if any, figured in the 1927 uprising and the remarkably effective cover-up that followed? If Xining, China, were not so far from Mississippi we might easily have our answer. But even if 200,000 zombies could cross the ocean — by no means certain, given the intense pressures on the ocean bottom — those zombies would take months to make the journey. The simplest understanding of geography also suggests that the zombies would land on the west coast of the American continent. If 200,000 zombies had walked across Mexico, the southern United States or even Panama, reports would likely have been too numerous to suppress. We might wonder if Lindy is a link in the puzzle. In particular, we might naturally ask what scared Lindbergh into taking a tiny metal box all the way across an ocean? What did he see that made him flee the U.S. at that exact year in time? A good question and we will never actually know how zombies fit into the historic journey made by the Spirit of St. Louis.  

One event from that time makes the undeadness meter ping like a Geiger counter in a starship’s warp core: The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927.

This flood affected 700,000 people  and is considered by some to be the greatest national disaster in US history. Here is a quick down and dirty review of the official story:

From http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1927.html

The rain is indisputable, of course. But let’s forget about levee systems and look at the effect of flooding 27,000 square miles. How many cemeteries are there in a 27,000 square mile area? How many gravesites are there in those cemeteries? We could probably come up with a rough calculation, but I’m sure even approximate numbers are unnecessary. The tally of corpses freed in the muddy waters had to run to many thousands. How many reanimated? Even if only one in one thousand came back to shuffle beside the chewed-up banks of the Mississippi River, the loss of life would have been horrific and, unfortunately, easily explained away as a natural consequence of the Flood.

I have an irrational fear of landmines.

Ahhvvnnrrshuhnnl veervv lahamahn.

Epic Tea Time w. Alan Rickman 

He was one of my favorite actors, too. But I think he must have gone over. There is no other explanation for this video. Vaguely, as his brain moves into the shadows, he recalls that once he liked tea — but tea is no longer what he craves.

The copyright seems a little obscure: Uploaded to www.youtube.com by MsSardonicus on Jul 19, 2011 — although there seems to be squabbling on this issue.

Check out this video, though. It’s marvelous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV1JDW43kUE&feature=share

You know instantly that the woman is extremely dangerous. Despite the lack of oozy flecks of brain on her hoodie, she has the classic expression we have come to associate with the undead. The fact that she is unafraid of the dinosaur beside her also tells you that her brain is gone. Notice, too, the white purse she carries. Remember — fashion sense goes early in the conversion process. No sensible person on a quest for raw meat would wear white.

But you might miss the fellow behind her. With his sporty baseball cap, sunglasses and cheery smile, he could be any man on the street — any man deliberately following a zombie toward a raptor, that is. Sometimes you can’t tell by looks. You have to go by what your instinct tells you.

My undeadness meter is pinging right off the chart here.

Let’s take a careful look at some song lyrics of the past:

The song is “WALK RIGHT IN” (Cannon / Woods) Gus Cannon’s Jug Stompers – 1927
The Rooftop Singers – 1963 Jimmy Smith – 1963 Jan & Dean – 1963 Also recorded by: Dr. Hook; The Brothers Four; The Ventures; José Feliciano; Trini Lopez; Lester Flatt; Janis Joplin; Jerry Lee Lewis; Billy Strange; Duane Eddy.

Walk right in,
Sit right down,
Baby let your hair hang down
Everybody’s talking ’bout a new way of walking
Do you want to lose you mind?
Walk right in, sit right down, honey let your hair hang down
Walk right in, sit right down, daddy let your mind roll on.

The question that naturally comes to mind: What happened during the zombie uprising of 1927? Obviously we won. Gus Cannon passed away in 1979 at the age of 96.

As with the Kennedy assassination and the aliens’ crash in New Mexico, we can see that a remarkable cover-up has taken place here. The complete absence of any evidence or reference to this event proves that. Gus Cannon was from Mississippi, a tantalizing clue in and of itself.

Where better to rise? And where better to stash the bodies when the crisis has been contained?

Microwaves are very complicated.

Mrrrravvv rrrvvvvagggmmblgugged.