- Never buy a cheap mattress.
- Beware of “CHEAP” generally. If you know you are furnishing a dorm room, that $99 desk may be fine, but — MOST OF THE TIME, YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
- Nevertheless, consider thrift shops. Why spend $60 for a tall stool if $10 will do?
- Never buy a three-legged stool. Or a three-legged anything. Why do the creatures of the Earth operate on either two or four legs? Probably because three-legged creatures kept falling over while running to escape predators until they became extinct. They were so unsuccessful that we rarely uncover their skeletons. When we do, we think we are somehow missing that nonexistent fourth leg.
- Never believe the internet without fact checking. Don’t believe the internet sometimes even when the facts check out. Mystery sources are making up shit all over the place, and it’s not like they can’t make up supportive sources as well. I fondly remember when my youngest in fifth(?) grade wrote a report about the alien takeover of the U.S. government in the early 1960s. Her teacher demanded three sources. She had found one already — presumably her inspiration. Then she created two new websites. Her teacher loved it. I did too. But imagine how much material a group of dedicated, paid Russian adults can make up every day if that happens to be their purpose in life.
Enough advice for now. Too much advice at once and you’ll get overwhelmed. None of it will stick. It helps to make a quick summary of what you might want to remember, like “Watch out for cheap stuff, three-legged stools and Russian infiltrators on the internet and in thrift stores. You want to make sure the Russians don’t find the comic book first.”
Or something like that.
Maybe one last piece of advice: If you are not having any fun, QUIT.
Hugs from the Blue Room
Zombie phrase for the day: The aliens on Donald’s homeworld don’t seem to understand normal human hair color. Duhhhhdiuhhnns uhhh daahhhhdphderrr duhhhdeeeduhhderdaaah norduh oobahhhn airrrgler.
Obviously this is a phrase for advanced students of the language.
