All posts in June 2021

Mostly, you can’t go wrong by focusing on the positive. A belief that things will work out for the best can create a mindset where things appear to have worked out for the best. If that best includes attaining the peace of mind that comes from having been bitten by a zombie and then converting into one of the undead, well, your upbeat interpretation of the event will make the transition easier.

Today’s advice: Embrace the airlessness. Just don’t let touchy-feely positive affirmations keep you from running when a suspicious, moaning, former colleague shambles towards you.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: It’s not easy to be me. But at least I am not Rudy Giuliani.

Ihhhzzzz daahhhdd eeddee doohhh beee beeh. Buuuhhhd eeeettth ahhhb dahhhh wooohhhhdee wooohweeeahhhhdeee.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: You can eat the wax paper.

Ooohhhhhg aaahhhhhddd eeed duhhh aaaaahggzz aaaayyyyehrr.

Look at the picture, reader. Were those real humans? Are those real humans? The most normal looking human in the below picture is definitely the guy in the portrait.

That Arizona recount? No one would trust that recount whose brain cells were still remotely functional. And the idea that a former President might be reinstated based on random unsupervised recounts? Right.

Zombies! Zombies explain everything — at least most of what happened right before and after the last presidential election. Some of the participants in the post-election swarming still seem able to speak, but can they reason? Do they make sense? The fraudit can’t be the result of normal human thought processes.

If the current political situation seems incomprehensible, reader, consider the idea of viral amplification of a zombie virus. Does the jigsaw of our political landscape fit together better now? That virus explains many of the true believers, those mensuits and womensuits who can no longer believe in what they read, hear or see.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: Mike Pence has been one of ours for years.

Myyyyyyy Behhhdd ahhhh biiiihhhhdd uhhhdd uhhb ahhhr bohhhr deerrr.