Today’s haiku:
Expiration date
Jocelyn Turner
Call it “Best by” but in truth –
At some point it’s done.
In food and in life — it’s important to recognize that, whether you call it “Best by” or Expiration date,” everything in the universe will end, including the universe itself. And printed dates cannot always be trusted. “Best by” can be especially tricky. How funky does a chip have to be before the bag deserves to be trashed?
Why does this matter? Because expired means expired, and even “best by” bags eventually move beyond funky to become growth media for alien and other lifeforms. Edible time can only be stretched so far.
From “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension:”
- Lord John Whorfin: Curse-a you, Banzai! Don’t you realize what-a you saying? You’re whole planet’s a-gonna be destroyed and you sit here wasting-a time?
- Buckaroo Banzai: Time? I got nothing BUT time.
Ummm… No, Buckaroo. You don’t. And on a less galactic scale, the cream cheese with fuzzy green spots has run out of time, too.
Suggestion for today: Most people automatically chuck green cream cheese. But some of us pull out the leftover soup and think, “Hmm, it’s pretty old.” Then we put the pot back in the fridge, planning to decide later if it’s TOO old. That’s pure 8th dimensional silliness: The soup you don’t want on Tuesday, you definitely won’t want on Wednesday.
LET IT GO — a good philosophy for old soup and lots of other life dramas.
Zombie phrase for the day: If he wasn’t a good guy before he became a zombie, he’s definitely not a good guy now.
Ihhhhvvveee wuhhhzzznnnuh guhhhh gahhhh ahhhorr eegaym uh dahmbee, eezz dehhlee dahd uh guhhhh gahhhh dowuh.
