They come. They go. Sometimes they go very fast and other people go, “What the hell?” Our resilience is being tested by current events.
Say to yourself, “Well, at least this is not the zombie apocalypse.”
I find that helps.
One less FBI director? Comey did have a few dubious moments. He may have cost Hillary Clinton the election with his ham-handed handling of the email issue. His firing might as well have been done with a bazooka, but … They hardly snuck the guy out the backdoor in the middle of the night. In the Blue Room, we are staying tuned for further developments.
We are ignoring contradictory press statements, although we will confess to having watched Kellyanne and Anderson. Did he roll his eyes? Was that sexism? I’d say she did an amazing job of perky under a rather withering stare. If that stare withered upward, well, newsflash: Anderson does not like that girl. She will have to find someone else to take her to the prom.
Now to the news:
Nietzsche and Francisco Franco remain dead. Nietzsche’s name remains too difficult for the average American to spell. Will we ignore this matter, another name to be lost in the dead letter office? No! Shasta the Invisible Slug and her Adoptive Mother Jocelyn see yet one more opportunity to flood the offices of our representatives in pursuit of a greater social good. Let’s tweet these representatives and their minions in search of new, linguistic clarity.
The time for a phonetic alphabet has come. Freedrick Neechee. It’s that simple. I say we gather our foremost linguistic experts, or just a gaggle of unemployed former educators with time on their hands, and tackle this urgent issue. We are not without precedents. Think Mao-Tse-tung or Mao Zedong. Think Peking or Beijing. Why not?
My phonetic alphabet plan has to be better than watching the news.
