All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

From a Facebook post: First job – Waitress at Goodenough’s Ice Cream Parlor in the Tacoma Mall Current job – Retired! Though I have been known to sub and tutor a bit… Favorite food – Right now chilaquiles and BLTs Favorite dog – Ginger the Wheaten Terrier Favorite footwear – Birkenstocks Favorite Candy – Toffee… Read More

Bored Young Girl Missing Gym Broken young humans Wear boots and casts to walk — Humans break easy. End November 2017 Ms. Turner sitting Calf and thigh! And foot of course. My foot broke itself! Biojar Tip: You think you can probably make the jump? Don’t try until the zombie hordes are running right alongside… Read More

Quick haiku that came from another nonsense email– If you do not trust Random safflower capsules to shrink you — wisdom! Nutrisystem, Noom, Dr. Oz, the Apple Cider Diet, Weight Watchers, the South Beach Diet, the Flat Belly Diet, the Keto Diet, the Dukan Diet, or just old fashioned Slim-fast, diets seem to be everywhere.… Read More

Mommy wears a black, Invader Zim t-shirt and pale-blue, snowflake pajama pants. She has a big cup of coffee in a green Yoda cup beside her as she sits barefoot on a tall, oak chair at the kitchen counter. Beside her, Shasta twirls her tail. An invisible slug about the size of a medium dog,… Read More

_____________________________________________________________________________ Air conditioning hums away Doors divide muggy from cool I slap mosquitoes Suddenly hot sun Covers my warming body Now I am sleepy _____________________________________________________________________________ Zombie phrase for the day: Nail polish no taste good. Nayyyhhh bblihhhhjh nuhhh dayyzza goooo.

For some of us, August becomes a call to finish projects, prepare for school, or become otherwise productive with our longer days. That’s part of the rhythm of life. Those school supplies must be purchased. But winter is coming, with or without white walkers. Why do today what you can do in January? Why not… Read More

I just finished a Reader’s Digest article on plane travel. I mean, why not? I’ve been sick. Anything had to be better than “Unique Green Drink Is Turning Seniors into ‘Young Bucks’” or Anna Kendrick’s kidney stones. I admit I was vaguely interested in how much NFL cheerleaders make, despite the fact that my cheerleading… Read More

Here’s the thing: Those guys in the original Predator should have gotten to the chopper sooner. The whole elite military team except for Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes alien catnip mice, destined to be torn apart by Nuclear Explosion Critter. We might argue that the Big Picture requires Billy, Blain, Mac, Poncho, and Hawkins to sacrifice themselves… Read More

We resolve each year To produce more and weigh less Sometimes we succeed. I resolve to watch Oodles of television In my pajamas.

Do you have fannish friends? Wearers of Harry Potter scarves, collectors of Batman statues, or fans of Grand Moff Tarkin who drink out of Star Wars mugs? I’d like to recommend Alien Entertainment, a store in a little slice of Lombard, Illinois. In true Twilight Zone fashion, Alien Entertainment is located on Main Street. The… Read More