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Ummm… yeah. So true here. Zoom is about the easiest platform I know but Zoom is out of favor in many districts due to privacy concerns.

I’m pretty sure that one reason why parents and students are massing to fight the possible evil of masks is that some issues are too complicated to parse out and manage easily. A proliferation of apps in a world where many parents are not technogeeks, or interested in finding the keys to Geekdom, will be daunting to parents. I suspect some parents have launched war on the Western front because the Eastern front is simply too fraught with weirdness. Too much Kracklezam only intimidates that mom or dad who doesn’t live on their laptop and can’t stand remote meetings.

As I read posts yesterday between people who were looking into homeschooling, I thought maybe Technoweirdness was part of the many parents making homeschooling recommendations, combined with the fact that many parents would love a viable remote option for when people got sick etc. — but instead they get Kracklezam.

We don’t educate parents enough. No one can besnoggle a snork until they learn what a snork is and maybe have some practice besnoggling. Snorks also provide a reason to fight about masks. Sometimes people just feel like they have to fight about something, and masks is a thing we kinda, sorta understand.

At least until the government decides to explain them one more time.

(It took how long to decide that cloth masks were next to useless?)

Longevity? The following email is littered with factual errors: “Fact Check-Post states wrong ages at which several inventors died.” See Fact Check-Post states wrong ages at which several inventors died | Reuters This post should remind us that people are just making up their own factoids at an astounding rate. But here are the factoids in Eddie’s email, all with an obvious agenda:

“1 The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2 The inventor of modern gymnastics died at the age of 57

3 The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

4 The best footballer (SOCCER) in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

5 James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America’s fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running died of a heart attack while jogging at 52 years of age

BUT

6 The KFC inventor died at 94. Colonel Sanders.

7 Inventor of Nutella chocolate and nut spread died at the age of 88.

8 Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.

9 The inventor of opium died at the age of 106 in an earthquake

10. And the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.”


Eddie’s Conclusion:

“The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all lives 400 years.

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.”

Jocelyn’s Conclusion: 1) Relaxation and rest don’t get enough respect or attention. An occasional snort of bourbon with fried chicken never seemed to harm my now 95-year-old dad, who remains a big fan of ham and cheese omelettes and hashbrowns with extra gravy. 2) We should never trust the internet.

The “inventor” of opium lived thousands of years ago according to A History of Opium | History Today “Opium has been known and used for more than 7,000 years.” Exactly what earthquake killed that opium addict anyway? Richard Hennessey actually died at 76 — admittedly a ripe old age in the 1700s. And the big question of the day: who are the turtles who never move? Let’s be clear: I could write and publish an article on immobile turtles right now. Or I could invent facts about ADHD rabbits. I could easily invent sources. Maybe I could even FIND sources.

(I tried the search “can rabbits suffer from ADHD” and the first response was a possibly malicious website about CBD use in rabbits, followed by Do Rabbits Get Depressed? 7 Common Reasons Why | Hutch and Cage)

Moral of the story: If the post/email/tweet etc. says what you want to hear, it’s best to be especially careful. But falsehoods are not always entirely untrue, either. There’s simply no substitute for actual thinking, combined with an occasional Google search.

Zombie phrase for the day: ADHD dogs seem to be everywhere.

AhhhhDuhhhAAhhhchdDuhhh dahhhgggzz deeeem duhh beehhvehhrwehhhrr.

Crap. I’m a mess. Watching the Mandalorian with rum ball and milk. This week I didn’t 1) Finish social security app 2) Finish book 3) Exterminate the flies 4) Get to Costco 5) Buy a van 6) Destroy a Death Star. I did 1) Coat the fly-infested kitchen in guava nector (the Ninja blender survived the guava dump anyway) 2) Destroy my basement table arrangement, capsize a table, break glassware, possibly kill laptop (It’s drying). Plusses: Got the blood out of my favorite pants and no serious injuries.

My tooth extraction area hurts tonight.

+ or -: I saw Dr. X who I suspect of being a poorly indoctrinated alien infiltrator. Or something. Not sure what.

Big plus: Sam was here for a day with Ricky. She and I made rum balls. I did finish an edublog post.

To readers: There aren’t usually flies here but for the second time in a quarter century, I was locked in the fly strip battle. I sought and again could not find the source. I suspect a critter in a crawl space. I suspect the cat.

It’s winter now. All is well. We have a van, I have been to Costco more than once, the art studio is restored, my knee is healed, and I am pleased to report the insect population has succumbed to the late-autumn midwestern temperatures. The laptop still works. No Death Stars have been destroyed but you can’t always finish the list.

To do:

I recommend rum balls. They are easier to make than you might think. Try Chocolate Rumballs – Jo Cooks or any of a number of online recipes. I recommend a triple chocolate cake mix. Maraschino cherries make a good filling for those allergic to nuts. If you are ducking alcohol, you can stop at the cake. Tired? Buy a good bottle of spray whip cream and just squirt.

Somehow one tends to get to the other side of tough times, reader. Hugs from the Blue Room. Jocelyn

From the Northbrook Police Blotter:

ARRESTS

SUSPENDED/REVOKED DRIVER’S LICENSE

(Random dude), 58, … accused of having a suspended driver’s license, an expired registration, no proof of insurance, and was arrested…. He was released after posting $2,500 bond and assigned a court date.

INCIDENTS

BATTERY

“An employee of a business … reported … they were slapped on the hand multiple times by a fellow employee and that this same employee has made vulgar comments and threats toward them in the past.”

CRIMINAL DEFACEMENT

• … new graffiti in various locations within a park in the 1700 block of Techny Road.
• An officer on a routine patrol found new graffiti … on the playground equipment at (another park).

SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

• … two males entered the store and attempted to remove a bottle of liquor without paying. Complainant said that they would call the cops and subjects put the item back and left the business.
• A resident… reported “that in viewing their doorbell app, they observed an unknown male, wearing a blue surgical mask and carrying a clipboard, attempting to make contact with residents at their residence four times during the day. An officer will follow up with registered solicitors to see if the subject on video is registered as a solicitor with the village.”

FORGERY

(Three forged checks)

THEFT FROM VEHICLE

A resident reported “someone removed the catalytic convertor from their vehicle without permission.”

LOST PROPERTY

“A customer at Morton’s Steak House, 600 block of Skokie Boulevard, reported at 3:41 p.m. Oct. 23, they left the facility without taking their jacket with them.”

CIVIL DISPUTE

• (A customer was mad about his car repairs. The police told the person it was a civil matter.)
• (Disagreement over a cab fare.)

DISPUTE

(Verbal dispute over a face mask.)

BURGLARY TO VEHICLE

“A resident … reported … someone entered their unlocked vehicle and removed clothing items.”

______________________________________________________________________________

I am pretty sure that in the last decade they entered my open garage and stole an extension cord too! Maybe a folding chair or two as well, although it’s possible my brother-in-law put those up so high in the garage cupboard that I can’t reach them or see them.

This represents a mild week, of course. Sometimes they steal purses from the Neiman Marcus or Louis Vuitton at the mall. Catalytic converters seem to be a hot item right now. DUIs are regularly represented. But when we look at Joe Friday’s “just the facts, ma’am” from old Dragnet days, I’d have to say this: The schools are excellent and this is a pretty solid place to choose to raise kids.

To the Twitterverse: Who cares if “they” don’t like your tweets? They could run right past you in a marathon, completely unknown and unremarked. With rare exceptions, you would not recognize even one of “them” at the local Target or Walmart. They might as well be Super Mario’s second cousins.

Social media creates bubbles within bubbles, along with occasional car crashes — both real and metaphorical.

Let’s be clear:

The Law of Attraction (which is NOT a law or even much of guideline) says that if you focus on what makes you feel good , then you will attract that which makes you feel good. Law or no, this saying gives us sound advice for how to approach Twitter. Answer posts by people who seem to be holding onto at least a tenuous understanding of your particular multiverse, while avoiding others. Find YOUR people. Mute people asking for more followers for their umpteenth 50th birthday. Consider blocking the persistently rude and possibly crazy. Take time to tweet support to people who are having a rough or worse day.

Twitter is like a big, unsupervised party. Fun people are hiding in the room. Great conversations may be waiting to happen. But anyone can walk in that door. Like politics, Twitter directs some people toward the Dark Side too. They become victims of a pervasive and never-ending MUST-HAVE-MORE-FOLLOWERS culture. Or they just spend their time venting their never-ending hatred for Donald Trump.

Skittles, Reese’s Cups, KitKats, Lemonheads, licorice, Three Musketeers — Twitter is like that big pillowcase of Halloween candy. What do you do once you dump the pillowcase? You sort out the contents.

And throw out the Turkish Delights. Unless you are one of those people who like Turkish Delights. Your account. Your call. Just please don’t start having monthly fiftieth birthdays in a desperate fight to fill your pillowcase with more weird sweets you don’t even like to eat.

Obese Time, filled with to-dos

Eats up its own children,

the fleeting minutes escaping

into the too-much landscape

littered with lists

real or imagined

written or implicit.

Zombie phrase for the day: I think I lost my list.

Ahhhhhhddiihhhhgggh ahh baahhhddd bahhh ihhdd.

My begonia

In critical condition

Drooping, wilts, crumples.

A poinsettia dominates that window space now. I am the poinsettia whisperer. My last one lived nearly ten years, a gift from the Friends of Something or Another who helped out in the North Chicago schools.

Ten Periods is

Four periods too many

Walk walk walk walk walk

END OF DAY

Going outside I

Walk grateful as I detach,

Say “See you!” and smile.

I will find some more of these and add on over the next few days.

Zombie phrase for the day: The young ones are too fast.

Duhhhh duhhhgggg buhhds ahhhrhh dooo bashhth.

Mostly, you can’t go wrong by focusing on the positive. A belief that things will work out for the best can create a mindset where things appear to have worked out for the best. If that best includes attaining the peace of mind that comes from having been bitten by a zombie and then converting into one of the undead, well, your upbeat interpretation of the event will make the transition easier.

Today’s advice: Embrace the airlessness. Just don’t let touchy-feely positive affirmations keep you from running when a suspicious, moaning, former colleague shambles towards you.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: It’s not easy to be me. But at least I am not Rudy Giuliani.

Ihhhzzzz daahhhdd eeddee doohhh beee beeh. Buuuhhhd eeeettth ahhhb dahhhh wooohhhhdee wooohweeeahhhhdeee.