The One Who Dies with the Most Toys Is Dead

Or undead. Whatever. Toys are not the answer. Too many toys will weigh you down when you have to travel light. Plus the desire for more toys can distract us from what matters — taking care of our own lives and your loved ones. As part of New Year’s meanderings, why not take a few minutes to write down what matters in your life. Every so often it’s good to check in on this.

Copied from the net — Almost Surely Protozombies

Robbers mistakenly break into KFC, expecting a jewelry store

By Mike Krumboltz | The Sideshow – 6 hrs ago


The scene of the crime in Beaudesert, Australia (Google Maps with Street View)The scene of the crime in Beaudesert, Australia (Google Maps with Street View)
Somebody took a wrong turn at the deep fryer. A pair of crooks in Australia found themselves in an unusual spot when they attempted to tunnel into a jewelry store but ended up in a KFC restaurant on New Year’s Eve.
The mishap took place near Brisbane, Australia. Fortunately nobody was hurt. When they saw where they were, the two alleged thieves, Peter Welsh and Dwayne Doolan, decided to hold up the customers. They left with about $2,700. But they didn’t escape for long. Welsh and Doolan were arrested a short time later.
According to a report from Australia’s Sky News, the pair “smashed their way through a wall in a communal toilet block tunnel, hoping to enter Wrights Jewellers.” Instead, they found themselves in a land of herbs and spices. This was not their first attempt to break into the jewelry store. Before the KFC fiasco, the pair mistakenly broke into an Animal Welfare League Opportunity Shop, where they stole about $50 from a charity plate.
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All I can say is this: I doubt these guys are still human, and they are probably about to go into the ravenous stage. Stay away from their teeth.

In a zoo in Europe in the year 2423 AD

The survivors of this century’s apocalypse will look at this wall and will realize that some prescient soul from our time predicted the end of their world. A few hardy believers will promptly start putting away food and water to prepare for the Simian Virus that is about to wipe out humankind. In our way, humans are predictable. We always have to be preparing for the end.

A wall mural in a zoo? Or a warning?

Against discrimination!

Protozombies need support too. Compliment their dog. Let them know you support them, at least as long as they’re not slurry and shuffly. We all may be slurry and shuffly someday.

P.S. If you encounter these people in a bar, you should let a little of the slurry and shuffly go, too. Any couple walking around with a pink-winged dog is probably losing their grip on social norms and protocols, but they are definitely not near the must-eat-brains-now stage.

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