Sharing the World with the Undead

Crap. I’m a mess. Watching the Mandalorian with rum ball and milk. This week I didn’t 1) Finish social security app 2) Finish book 3) Exterminate the flies 4) Get to Costco 5) Buy a van 6) Destroy a Death Star. I did 1) Coat the fly-infested kitchen in guava nector (the Ninja blender survived the guava dump anyway) 2) Destroy my basement table arrangement, capsize a table, break glassware, possibly kill laptop (It’s drying). Plusses: Got the blood out of my favorite pants and no serious injuries.

My tooth extraction area hurts tonight.

+ or -: I saw Dr. X who I suspect of being a poorly indoctrinated alien infiltrator. Or something. Not sure what.

Big plus: Sam was here for a day with Ricky. She and I made rum balls. I did finish an edublog post.

To readers: There aren’t usually flies here but for the second time in a quarter century, I was locked in the fly strip battle. I sought and again could not find the source. I suspect a critter in a crawl space. I suspect the cat.

It’s winter now. All is well. We have a van, I have been to Costco more than once, the art studio is restored, my knee is healed, and I am pleased to report the insect population has succumbed to the late-autumn midwestern temperatures. The laptop still works. No Death Stars have been destroyed but you can’t always finish the list.

To do:

I recommend rum balls. They are easier to make than you might think. Try Chocolate Rumballs – Jo Cooks or any of a number of online recipes. I recommend a triple chocolate cake mix. Maraschino cherries make a good filling for those allergic to nuts. If you are ducking alcohol, you can stop at the cake. Tired? Buy a good bottle of spray whip cream and just squirt.

Somehow one tends to get to the other side of tough times, reader. Hugs from the Blue Room. Jocelyn

From the Northbrook Police Blotter:

ARRESTS

SUSPENDED/REVOKED DRIVER’S LICENSE

(Random dude), 58, … accused of having a suspended driver’s license, an expired registration, no proof of insurance, and was arrested…. He was released after posting $2,500 bond and assigned a court date.

INCIDENTS

BATTERY

“An employee of a business … reported … they were slapped on the hand multiple times by a fellow employee and that this same employee has made vulgar comments and threats toward them in the past.”

CRIMINAL DEFACEMENT

• … new graffiti in various locations within a park in the 1700 block of Techny Road.
• An officer on a routine patrol found new graffiti … on the playground equipment at (another park).

SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

• … two males entered the store and attempted to remove a bottle of liquor without paying. Complainant said that they would call the cops and subjects put the item back and left the business.
• A resident… reported “that in viewing their doorbell app, they observed an unknown male, wearing a blue surgical mask and carrying a clipboard, attempting to make contact with residents at their residence four times during the day. An officer will follow up with registered solicitors to see if the subject on video is registered as a solicitor with the village.”

FORGERY

(Three forged checks)

THEFT FROM VEHICLE

A resident reported “someone removed the catalytic convertor from their vehicle without permission.”

LOST PROPERTY

“A customer at Morton’s Steak House, 600 block of Skokie Boulevard, reported at 3:41 p.m. Oct. 23, they left the facility without taking their jacket with them.”

CIVIL DISPUTE

• (A customer was mad about his car repairs. The police told the person it was a civil matter.)
• (Disagreement over a cab fare.)

DISPUTE

(Verbal dispute over a face mask.)

BURGLARY TO VEHICLE

“A resident … reported … someone entered their unlocked vehicle and removed clothing items.”

______________________________________________________________________________

I am pretty sure that in the last decade they entered my open garage and stole an extension cord too! Maybe a folding chair or two as well, although it’s possible my brother-in-law put those up so high in the garage cupboard that I can’t reach them or see them.

This represents a mild week, of course. Sometimes they steal purses from the Neiman Marcus or Louis Vuitton at the mall. Catalytic converters seem to be a hot item right now. DUIs are regularly represented. But when we look at Joe Friday’s “just the facts, ma’am” from old Dragnet days, I’d have to say this: The schools are excellent and this is a pretty solid place to choose to raise kids.

To the Twitterverse: Who cares if “they” don’t like your tweets? They could run right past you in a marathon, completely unknown and unremarked. With rare exceptions, you would not recognize even one of “them” at the local Target or Walmart. They might as well be Super Mario’s second cousins.

Social media creates bubbles within bubbles, along with occasional car crashes — both real and metaphorical.

Let’s be clear:

The Law of Attraction (which is NOT a law or even much of guideline) says that if you focus on what makes you feel good , then you will attract that which makes you feel good. Law or no, this saying gives us sound advice for how to approach Twitter. Answer posts by people who seem to be holding onto at least a tenuous understanding of your particular multiverse, while avoiding others. Find YOUR people. Mute people asking for more followers for their umpteenth 50th birthday. Consider blocking the persistently rude and possibly crazy. Take time to tweet support to people who are having a rough or worse day.

Twitter is like a big, unsupervised party. Fun people are hiding in the room. Great conversations may be waiting to happen. But anyone can walk in that door. Like politics, Twitter directs some people toward the Dark Side too. They become victims of a pervasive and never-ending MUST-HAVE-MORE-FOLLOWERS culture. Or they just spend their time venting their never-ending hatred for Donald Trump.

Skittles, Reese’s Cups, KitKats, Lemonheads, licorice, Three Musketeers — Twitter is like that big pillowcase of Halloween candy. What do you do once you dump the pillowcase? You sort out the contents.

And throw out the Turkish Delights. Unless you are one of those people who like Turkish Delights. Your account. Your call. Just please don’t start having monthly fiftieth birthdays in a desperate fight to fill your pillowcase with more weird sweets you don’t even like to eat.

Obese Time, filled with to-dos

Eats up its own children,

the fleeting minutes escaping

into the too-much landscape

littered with lists

real or imagined

written or implicit.

Zombie phrase for the day: I think I lost my list.

Ahhhhhhddiihhhhgggh ahh baahhhddd bahhh ihhdd.

My begonia

In critical condition

Drooping, wilts, crumples.

A poinsettia dominates that window space now. I am the poinsettia whisperer. My last one lived nearly ten years, a gift from the Friends of Something or Another who helped out in the North Chicago schools.

Ten Periods is

Four periods too many

Walk walk walk walk walk

END OF DAY

Going outside I

Walk grateful as I detach,

Say “See you!” and smile.

I will find some more of these and add on over the next few days.

Zombie phrase for the day: The young ones are too fast.

Duhhhh duhhhgggg buhhds ahhhrhh dooo bashhth.

Mostly, you can’t go wrong by focusing on the positive. A belief that things will work out for the best can create a mindset where things appear to have worked out for the best. If that best includes attaining the peace of mind that comes from having been bitten by a zombie and then converting into one of the undead, well, your upbeat interpretation of the event will make the transition easier.

Today’s advice: Embrace the airlessness. Just don’t let touchy-feely positive affirmations keep you from running when a suspicious, moaning, former colleague shambles towards you.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: It’s not easy to be me. But at least I am not Rudy Giuliani.

Ihhhzzzz daahhhdd eeddee doohhh beee beeh. Buuuhhhd eeeettth ahhhb dahhhh wooohhhhdee wooohweeeahhhhdeee.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: You can eat the wax paper.

Ooohhhhhg aaahhhhhddd eeed duhhh aaaaahggzz aaaayyyyehrr.

Look at the picture, reader. Were those real humans? Are those real humans? The most normal looking human in the below picture is definitely the guy in the portrait.

That Arizona recount? No one would trust that recount whose brain cells were still remotely functional. And the idea that a former President might be reinstated based on random unsupervised recounts? Right.

Zombies! Zombies explain everything — at least most of what happened right before and after the last presidential election. Some of the participants in the post-election swarming still seem able to speak, but can they reason? Do they make sense? The fraudit can’t be the result of normal human thought processes.

If the current political situation seems incomprehensible, reader, consider the idea of viral amplification of a zombie virus. Does the jigsaw of our political landscape fit together better now? That virus explains many of the true believers, those mensuits and womensuits who can no longer believe in what they read, hear or see.

Zombie Phrase for the Day: Mike Pence has been one of ours for years.

Myyyyyyy Behhhdd ahhhh biiiihhhhdd uhhhdd uhhb ahhhr bohhhr deerrr.