All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

EQUALLY DANGEROUS!!

I’m lost again. Ahhmm luhhdd gihhnnn.

So many lessons to choose from here… Don’t explore alien ships. Period.Never take your cat into space.Don’t cheap out on lighting when building spacecraft.Always follow quarantine procedures. Good advice for dealing with zombies too with a few adaptations. Don’t explore spooky buildings. Period. Think very carefully about attempts to rescue the cat. Don’t cheap out… Read More

If you are wondering how to distract Mr. Zombie, remember the old maxim KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid. Mr. Zombie is a simple creature. What does he like? Brains. What should you give him? Brains. The objective is to make sure they are somebody else’s brains. It’s really that simple. Keep a tube of some… Read More

Beer goes with brains, red wine with liver. Syrup goes with everything. Beeeuhrrgghhzz buhhrrnzz, urrrddnn ihhbberr. Zuuhhrb guh vvrihnn.

Remember the June 9th post about the semitrailer that dumped hundreds of boxes of Hungry Jack syrup bottles? Well, I still haven’t figured out what it means, but I am making progress. The vital questions we have to answer, of course, are the following: Who the hell is Jack? What exactly is he hungry for? Most… Read More

I want to meet one of the Men in Black. Ahhnnt muhtnn vuhmmmunn bahh.

Zombie? Not zombie? The eyes have it. While we don’t know what’s going on with this fellow — perhaps he just realized that he failed to file tax returns for the last 10 years — we can see that he is experiencing genuine human emotion. At this point in time, he’s not a zombie anyway.… Read More

The problem is simple. The recently deceased usually look as if they are sleeping. This woman may be seconds away from zombiehood. What to do? One technique is to yell loudly. Stand near the door, ready to run, and shout: “HEY, ARE YOU AWAKE?” If this poor woman is dead, she will most likely not respond.  If… Read More

I tried to read “The DaVinci Code” but the print was too small. Ahhtt ruhhddahhrruhduhhbuhnnjahggudd buhhddburryhnnddd oohzzmmll.