All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

We’re going downtown tomorrow. Uuhrgghee ahngownd muhhroh.

Nuff said.

Many people naturally want to know what happened to those zombies from the Great Uprising of 1927.  They’re obviously not hanging out on Biloxi beaches. I suspect any survivors are somewhere inside Area 51. Not all the aliens our government has sequestered come from other planets.

Reconstructing historical events and putting the pieces together is always a challenge. Perusing the events of 1927 at first looks unpromising. Al Jolson released the first talking motion picture, “The Jazz Singer.” The Holland Tunnel opened.  Work began on Mt. Rushmore. Josef Stalin took control of Russia, expelling Trotsky. On May 22, some 200,000 people in Xining, China, died… Read More

Epic Tea Time w. Alan Rickman  He was one of my favorite actors, too. But I think he must have gone over. There is no other explanation for this video. Vaguely, as his brain moves into the shadows, he recalls that once he liked tea — but tea is no longer what he craves. The… Read More

Let’s take a careful look at some song lyrics of the past: The song is “WALK RIGHT IN” (Cannon / Woods) Gus Cannon’s Jug Stompers – 1927 The Rooftop Singers – 1963 Jimmy Smith – 1963 Jan & Dean – 1963 Also recorded by: Dr. Hook; The Brothers Four; The Ventures; José Feliciano; Trini Lopez;… Read More

Despite all our best efforts, sometimes we are in the wrong place at the wrong time. You go to the Sonic Drive-In just as they run out of corn dogs. You go to the mall on the day they rise. You are resting in the basement, peacefully snoozing, the TV droning in the background, when suddenly you hear gutteral moans and… Read More

Microwaves are very complicated. Mrrrravvv rrrvvvvagggmmblgugged.

Readers are no doubt thinking, “Now wait a minute! I can see the halberds, but nail polish remover? Why?” Why does a dog roll in disgusting piles of compost? Can zombies actually smell brains? The research is not in yet, but it takes only seconds to dump a bottle of acetone over your hair and… Read More

You can’t get to the halberds on the wall. There’s not enough time to make a lasso with the blinky strands of Christmas lights. What to do? Sometimes a muzzle will work. The right, metal magazine rack can be just what you need. Pick up the above and — Whamm!! — stick it right over Mr. Zombie’s head. Many magazine racks fit… Read More