Not enough attempts have been made to actually communicate with the zombie. In particular, those zombies under 18 years of age need to be in school. Why aren’t they in school? I suspect it is the natural fear of their impact on schools’ standardized test scores. Their inability to hold a pencil can only bring down scores.
But since we are now having cognitively delayed students — students who can neither read nor write more than a few words — take these tests, what possible justification can there be for excluding young zombies from the testing pool? None of our schools are making No Child Left Behind targets anyway. The whole damn country is filling out plans for remediation and improvement of our failing schools, plans that we then submit to our state Departments of Education. My personal favorite: My local high school was listed as one of the top 100 in the country. It is also failing to make NCLB targets and is on Academic Warning.
Hell, let’s test the zombies. We really have nothing to lose.
