All posts by Mississippi Maxie

I personally doubt that Abraham Lincoln could fight a vampire on top of a rapidly moving train. Ahhbbburrzz Eeeddd Owwt ahht Abbaahm Ihnnguhhn guhhd vaiidd ah bahhmburh dahb vah raahbblee moohvihn draih.

Happy 4th of July! Aahppee vohrvv duuhlaii!

Just a thought: What was that red on Rudolph’s nose? Was Rudolph one of the first zombie reindeer? Are there others? Has Sandy Claws actually tamed zombie wildlife? We need to mount an expedition to find the man. He knows the answers to questions that may affect the entire population of Finland. Deer are almost everywhere, in fact,… Read More

Your life follows your attention. Wherever you look, you end up going.—Martha Beck What does this have to do with zombies? Maybe nothing, maybe everything. Attention is tricky. We are all paying attention all the time, always when we are awake and at least sometimes while we are asleep. The question is, “What do we… Read More

Don’t take your family to court. Don’t take your girlfriend either. Zombie Lesson:  If you have to go out, leave your family or girlfriend someplace safe (when possible.) If you must bring your girlfriend along to provide screaming right before the commercial break, at least arm the poor wench.

Never go to court. Lesson as applied to zombies: Never go to the mall. This lesson comes from films. It’s probably a perfectly fine lesson once the dead are out en masse. But a more profound lesson may be adapted from the court example above. Let me observe that people usually go to court before the… Read More

I always shop at the Goodwill like Virg. Ahhhwwzz ahhptt guhhhduhllllluhh biirjjj.

Kill the scariest vampires first. Always listen to Dr. Van Helsing. Once people become vampires, they are no longer your friends. Trying to salvage some relationships can kill you. Lessons from the Horror of Dracula applied to zombies: Kill the scariest zombies first. Always listen to ME.Once people become zombies, they are no longer your friends.… Read More

EQUALLY DANGEROUS!!

Failure is not an option. Vayyrrzznn buhhjuhnn. (Note that the average zombie is not likely to say this: The pronounciation of the word “option” is too difficult for the average zombie.A zombie is more likely to say, “Failure is not O.K.” which is pronounced “Vayyrrzznnohh gayyy.” But both translations were provided. Zombies are not one… Read More