I tried to determine where my “waist” might be located this morning. Ominous sources tell us that we are doomed to suffer an early demise if our waist runs over thirty-six inches. * Alas, one more peril to manage. I decided to do a threat assessment.
But where is my waist?
Some sources put this invisible line at belly-button level, a distorted vesica piscis horizontal to the Earth, bisecting the belly-button. But expert opinion varies! Other sources suggest the true waist to be an arbitrary inch above that belly-button. The functional definition requires a woman to bend sideways. The natural fold-line that results becomes the height of the waist. But I am so pear-shaped. Whether I like them or not, I have big hips and I cannot lie. So that fold comes up near my ribcage. Ummm… that seems a little high. Of course, the fold is lower if I bend toward the other direction.
Since the difference in waist measurement between the belly button and lower fold is about four inches, my choice of waistline matters. I decide to go higher where the measuring tape comes in lower. I am fine and getting better as I head toward my ribs.
But this just reminds me of all the silly numbers out there. Not to mention how one can squander minutes on the internet trying to nail down questions of alleged “fact.” Forget fake news for a minute. Even real news cannot be trusted, not when educated personal trainers can all start their own websites.
My wisdom for the day: Always go with the number you like best. I guess we can make this the zombie phrase for the day as well.
Zombie Phrase for the Day: Ahhhhzzzz guhhhhddd uuuhhmbuhhh oooohhh aygghhh ehdd.
*The number may be different for guys. Men will have to do their own research, although if you actually read this post you may justifiably decide not to bother.
