An airline mechanic on Alaska Airlines flight 26 from Seattle to Chicago explained it to me: Costco got rid of the polish dog so they could replace it with the more healthful acai bowl. I don’t quite buy his story. I can’t see the execs at Costco deciding that fans of the $1.50 polish dog craved healthy berry-like yogurt with blueberries, strawberries and granola instead. I’m guessing the Polish Dog Target Market hardly knows acai exists and never thinks, “I must stop at Costco for that luscious $4.99 acai bowl.” I guarantee readers my dad has no interest in weird, fruity-looking stuff. He tried the hot dog. I expect him to move to everything pizza with many lamentations about the loss of his polish dog.
But the polish dog is gone. Fruity yogurt bowl has arrived. That dark red fruity yogurt replaced chocolate froyo, too.
Want to join the protest? You can try #SaveThePolishDog, #BoycottCostco, or even the Facebook group, “Boycott Costco Until They Bring Back Our God Damn Polish Dogs.” (Captain America would have named the group differently I am sure. Language!) You could start your own group, for that matter, something like “Quinoa and Kale Are Getting Entirely Out of Hand.” Don’t get me wrong. I like the acai bowl. But that polish dog and 20 ounce drink for only $1.50 will be missed by many.
Yours from the possible future hashtag “#Give me the gigantic dog, scary green relish and toxic-yellow mustard NOW.
I will keep readers posted on developments related to this vital, American issue.
