The problem is simple. The recently deceased usually look as if they are sleeping. This woman may be seconds away from zombiehood. What to do?
One technique is to yell loudly. Stand near the door, ready to run, and shout: “HEY, ARE YOU AWAKE?”
If this poor woman is dead, she will most likely not respond.
If she is not dead, she should come to consciousness quickly. Then make sure that she still has all her faculties. Immediately yell the following: “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” The response should be nearly instantaneous.
A name is not enough, however. Remember the little zombie girl in The Walking Dead as she picked up her teddy bear. One of the last things this woman will forget is probably her name. You need questions that will take her by surprise.
“WHAT’S YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?”
“WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT BEFORE EISENHOWER?”
“HOW MUCH DOES LETTUCE COST?”
Keep in mind that the current state of American education may interfere with her answers. Don’t shoot anyone just because they have no idea who Eisenhower was, for example. Just keep shouting random questions until you are sure that you are dealing with a simple example of napping, and nothing more sinister.
