All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

So the oatmeal was taking forever.  I figured five or ten more minutes might be needed to mush the stuff up right. Too long.  I poured Cocoa Puffs into a bowl. I added extra Reese’s Puffs. The problem of the oatmeal was solved, with the addition of a little almond milk. Then I went to the Blue… Read More

O.K. I have five numbers and five symbols. Not good enough. I throw in some letters. Weak, I am told. Hell, nobody could remember this combination for more than 5 minutes. By the time I get to strong, I had better have the damn thing recorded. Because a million monkeys plunking keys for a million… Read More

(Please don’t sue  me Potterverse. I don’t actually know where I got this picture. If I ever get more than a few hundred readers a day, I’ll replace it. But it’s perfect.) Can we take the humans out of the equation? Yes, we can.  But in the end, cars fail, like toasters and refrigerators fail… Read More

Zombie fiction at its best raises ambiguities to ponder. Is the CDC our friend? In a worst case scenario, will the CDC be our friend? How will America respond to a crisis? Will America respond to a crisis? In our PC times, how much trouble can we get into for coming down on the wrong side… Read More

The best thing about retirement is a sense of “done.” Done has a feel. Done has a texture. The cake is baked, the zombie has been dismembered and burned. I can read in peace. I can ignore the news. I can write silly haikus about cooking shows. I can write dialogs with Shasta the Invisible Slug. If… Read More

Mind Control! Landru is real! “What the President meant to say was …” How do Fox commentators know? How do Sean or Kellyanne know? Do the Russians know? Will the Russians share? Who knows? Is Julian Assange human? What secrets have the Ecuadorians been  hiding? Does Ecuador exist? Have you been to Ecuador, reader? How… Read More

Zombie Phrase for Today: I think our first move should be calling the Avengers. Ahhh dihnngk ahrr ihrrttoohb uhhdbee gahhhlingk ahbehnjuhrrs. Health care appears to be poised on a precipice. Let’s take today to reaffirm our commitment to social justice. The Walking Dead may have lost its way, but we need to remain clear: We are supposed… Read More

Brains taste delicious. If only I could move. Oh no. That dog is looking at me. Braaayyynnnzz aaayyzzzd ihhshuzz. Ihvv uhhhhneee ahhhg uhhd ooovhh. ohhhhdooohh. Daaadahhhzzzz oooggeendd eee. Zombie preparedness: A reminder not to be staring at our phones while we walk our dogs on winter sidewalks. I assume we are mostly smarter than that,… Read More

Sometimes I question my sanity. Zuuhhhdiiiiy ahhh gehduyun mah zahhhhhhadee. Sometimes it replies. Zuuhhhdiiiy ihhh uhbligh.