All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3p5a7s/ and http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/funny-pictures-history-the-apocalypse.jpg Picture of a door taken at a favorite con. What do YOU have on YOUR door? Of course, the really cool thing about omens is that they are in the eye of the beholder. I’m pretty sure the following is an omen. I am still trying to figure out what it means. Hungry… Read More

Zombie Phrase: Do you suppose blind people eat more sausage? Duhhpzzbuhhndpuhhblll eeell zzahzzjjiha? NOTE: The significance of this phrase, if translated correctly by the researcher who was tracking this seemingly ordinary conversation, is immense. If translated correctly, this tells us that zombies are capable of abstract thought. The idea that a zombie is a mindless eating… Read More

There are not enough cows in this town. Ehhrnnff gahhzznn zownnn.

Did you read the NZLB post? Did the absurdity of that post strike you? Did you see moaning, little boys and girls clutching pencils as they tried to escape from the handcuffs attaching them to their floor-bolted desks? As the author of this blog, though, I’d like to say that that might be one of the… Read More

The post before this certainly is not meant to imply that grandmas cannot be zombies. Because we tend to underestimate older women, they are likely to be some of the most effective zombies.

Not enough attempts have been made to actually communicate with the zombie. In particular, those zombies under 18 years of age need to be in school. Why aren’t they in school? I suspect it is the natural fear of their impact on schools’ standardized test scores. Their inability to hold a pencil can only bring… Read More

I wish to get a cat. Ahhshh duhh guhtahht.

The majority of recent readers are from Russia. Why? What leads these Russians to zombie blogs?  Is this mere serendipity? Perhaps not. Was it the Russian winter that stopped Napoleon and Hitler? Or something more sinister?

Yes, I visit the Centers for Disease Control often. Ahhvzzt sssuhnt zzzyzzcuhh aahhhn.

A naked “man” in Miami tried to eat another man’s head, as has been posted all over the internet. An officer ordered the naked man to back away, but the man growled and ignored him. The officer then shot the man. The naked, growling “man” continued to eat his victim, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue shooting. Witnesses… Read More