Sharing the World with the Undead
Biographical Musings from the Zombie Jar
Remember the June 9th post about the semitrailer that dumped hundreds of boxes of Hungry Jack syrup bottles? Well, I still haven’t figured out what it means, but I am making progress. The vital questions we have to answer, of course, are the following: Who the hell is Jack? What exactly is he hungry for? Most… Read More
I want to meet one of the Men in Black. Ahhnnt muhtnn vuhmmmunn bahh.
Zombie? Not zombie? The eyes have it. While we don’t know what’s going on with this fellow — perhaps he just realized that he failed to file tax returns for the last 10 years — we can see that he is experiencing genuine human emotion. At this point in time, he’s not a zombie anyway.… Read More
The problem is simple. The recently deceased usually look as if they are sleeping. This woman may be seconds away from zombiehood. What to do? One technique is to yell loudly. Stand near the door, ready to run, and shout: “HEY, ARE YOU AWAKE?” If this poor woman is dead, she will most likely not respond. If… Read More
I tried to read “The DaVinci Code” but the print was too small. Ahhtt ruhhddahhrruhduhhbuhnnjahggudd buhhddburryhnnddd oohzzmmll.
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3p5a7s/ and http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/funny-pictures-history-the-apocalypse.jpg Picture of a door taken at a favorite con. What do YOU have on YOUR door? Of course, the really cool thing about omens is that they are in the eye of the beholder. I’m pretty sure the following is an omen. I am still trying to figure out what it means. Hungry… Read More
Zombie Phrase: Do you suppose blind people eat more sausage? Duhhpzzbuhhndpuhhblll eeell zzahzzjjiha? NOTE: The significance of this phrase, if translated correctly by the researcher who was tracking this seemingly ordinary conversation, is immense. If translated correctly, this tells us that zombies are capable of abstract thought. The idea that a zombie is a mindless eating… Read More
There are not enough cows in this town. Ehhrnnff gahhzznn zownnn.
Did you read the NZLB post? Did the absurdity of that post strike you? Did you see moaning, little boys and girls clutching pencils as they tried to escape from the handcuffs attaching them to their floor-bolted desks? As the author of this blog, though, I’d like to say that that might be one of the… Read More
The post before this certainly is not meant to imply that grandmas cannot be zombies. Because we tend to underestimate older women, they are likely to be some of the most effective zombies.
