All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

June 8, 2020: 18 murders in 24 hours: “Inside the most violent day in 60 years in Chicago” the title for the Chicago Sun-Times reads. Cripes. Shooters keep shooting, too. According to NBC, this last week-end, the tally given by the Chicago police department showed 13 people killed and at least 50 others wounded across… Read More

She clambers across the roof Yanks on the bedroom window screen Whines to be let down. Having climbed the tree In search of who knows what, She meows to be let inside. If I go downstairs to the rescue If I open the sliding glass door She will stand in confusion. She might go inside… Read More

Social media followers are so sincere. But sometimes spout wrong-headed non-facts, and yet bash the hell out of those who disagree. If we seek to live in genuine community, Social media is no place to refresh our souls. Zombie phrase for the day: I don’t miss Twitter. Ahhhhduhhhd biddd dwidduhhhhh.

Do readers remember the dice system of getting dressed? Here is a simpler system for summer. Let’s say 1 -2 means wear a summer dress, 3-4 means wear shorts and a top, and 5-6 stands for a skirt and top. So roll one dice and pick your category. I just rolled a “one.” Perfect. The… Read More

I have this monthly to do list. It’s up to thirty-eight items right now because I just cleaned my desk. Post-It notes have been transferred to an Excel spreadsheet. Some items are repeats, like “‘write a post for biographyjar ” and “find one item for charity.” I color code my spreadsheet. This month, blue means… Read More

Online or on paper, I suggest making a version of this not-exactly-gratitude journal. Gratitude journals have been a common theme in the self-help articles of the recent past. Write down the good stuff when you wake up or go to bed, authors tell us. Some especially optimistic writers even suggest that humans can reset themselves… Read More

Boiling water will not work. The backsplash might blister you, but Mr. Zombie will keep on coming. Kitchen tools don’t work unless you are super-coordinated. That cast iron pan? Can you wield it forcefully and actually break a head? Banging Mr. Zombie on the head may not even slow him down much. Zombies already suffer… Read More

I strongly suspect adult children left those shards of glass. Adult children put the bottles of Creme de Cocoa, vermouth and Benedictine in the basement refrigerator. They are definitely responsible for the Voodoo Ranger Special Release Atomic Pumpkin beer, although I confess I think that beer’s good. Kudos to Voodoo Ranger for thinking outside the… Read More

Greetings, fellow Deep-into-COVID-and-Definitely-Not-Loving-House-Arrest types. So are you slouching in your chair, trying to make the remote magically produce a better show? Or even laying propped up on pillows with your phone, iPad or a book in front of you? The world spiraled out of control awhile ago. You can’t make your own toilet paper. Making… Read More

Zombies, sharks, scarves, cooking, cleaning, puzzles, labeling pictures — so many things to do. How about making a move that actually matters? As I walked past the many happy dog-walkers outside today, I had a brainstorm: PUPPIES! This is the ideal time to foster a lonely dog. Here we sit, facing weeks and maybe more… Read More