AhhhruuurpppXXXXZZZZahrgg! UURRZhhuuupp?
Translation: Princess Leia is my favorite character. Who’s yours?
All posts in April 2012
Hope springs eternal
The zombie romance novel cannot be far behind. I wish them all the happiness they can squeeze out of this life.
Seriously, at least she’s not 23. The fellow may be as smart as his fortune indicates and maybe she’s smart enough to understand that current culture gives way too many cute points and not nearly enough smart points.
Then we read Kim and Kanye’s lamentations about how somehow — amazing! — it all went wrong. I give these two way better odds than Kim and Kanye.
Argument in favor of the apocalypse
Rumor has it that Britney spent $20,000 for this bra. Is it time to cull the herd? Is that why the idea of the zombie has so much appeal? It’s at least time to whap some of them up the side of the head. I want that $20,000. I’ll give it to my cousin Joan to use to rescue abandoned doggies who need homes.
How Did Humans Invent Zombies?
I don’t know the answer yet, but I suspect the following of being a clue:
“Can you imagine being forced into a whale artery? Like, that’s how you die. Like, you just drown in it. That would be so horrible.”-Ej Kenny
Why Zombies?
Why zombies? That’s really the question. When we start inserting zombies into Pride and Prejudice, we have inserted zombies into territory usually reserved for romantics. We believe erudite readers of classic literature will spend $$$ on Darcy’s Adventures in the Land of the Undead.
How did the walking dead sweep the land?
Another question worth pondering: Given that almost everybody dies in almost all zombie movies, why have we embraced the genre? OK, so not all films have to be happily ever after, but how many people should we chew up before we grab the popcorn and turn on Dr. Who instead?
Urban thug? Or Something More Sinister?
Notice the hat and shades, the apparently misshapen legs. Poor fashion sense? Or the need to hide scabs and an oozing scalp?
Apparently this “man” believes he is dressed to go out in public, too. Poor fashion sense? Or obvious brain damage? The fact that he can barely walk in those pants provides an excellent cover for the trademark of the zombie — the AIMLESS SHUFFLE.
Avoid anyone who dresses like this.