Zombie Dogs

These two fellows are owned by a hockey player, Karl Alzner. In her excellent book “Feed” — a strongly recommended read for fans of zombie fic — Mira Grant creates a universe where animals over a certain weight can convert into zombies. I’d say the small guy here is looking pretty suspicious, though, no matter how much he weighs. Notice the expressions of contentment. Are these normal dogs? A normal dog should be hiding under the table in shame. Unless this is how Alzner’s house usually looks and he’s trying to blame the dogs, I’d say watch out for these two. Obviously you need to steer clear of Alzner as well.  

Zen and Zombies

We can start with a simple observation: No one meditates better than a zombie. While occasional flashes of tasty brain matter may intrude into the zombie consciousness, for the most part a zombie lives entirely in the present.

Disclaimer: This post in no way advocates zombiehood as a shortcut to Enlightenment.

Can Zombies Floss?

Flossing is actually a pretty intricate activity, requiring many small adjustments of muscles in the hands. The likelihood is your average zombie just has to learn to live with the hair stuck in his teeth.  
Of more interest is the fact that a Google image search on “hairy teeth” returned about 2,030,000 results (0.24 seconds). I created the above by adapting a portion of an image in Paint.
Hairy teeth?

Giant Shrimp Invasion

“U.S. Battling Giant Shrimp Invasion” the Yahoo title says. The link leads to “Cannibal shrimp: The invasion has begun.” One problem with preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse: If we are too preoccupied with the zombie hordes, those giant shrimp might slip right past us.

Giant shrimp in the neighborhood? Don’t trust them to eat each other. We have to eat them first. I recommend giant sushi logs, the ultimate Godzilla rolls. Our weapons of choice? Flame throwers and wasabi mustard.

The best enemy is an edible enemy, your zombie opponent would say, and in this case Mr. Zombie might be right.

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