Scathingly Brilliant Idea for Martian Colonies

Where are our Martian colonies? Where are the hardy settlers setting up shiny, silver domes and trundling across the sandy, red landscape in their special Marsmobiles? Where are the potatoes, carrots, squashes, turnips, and tomatoes grown in recycled air by brave men and women, a few of whom no doubt will be ready to kill for Whopper® or Dove® bar as the months unfold?

We are easily a quarter-century overdue at planting the flag on Mars.

But events may finally be working in favor of visionaries and would-be space travelers. What has blocked our colonies? A number of factors are in play, of course, but one major roadblock has been the alleged high expenses required to create and maintain those colonies.  The U.S. cannot afford such pricy ventures, we are told.

But that was before the POTUS!! I admit he seems to have bogged down a bit over the Mexican wall, and he has not yet convinced the South Koreans to pay for his missile defense system (or whatever he was talking about) but his concept seems sound. We get other people to  pay for what we want.  Who can disagree with such a convenient solution to economic reality?

I say, make the Koreans pay for the Martian Colonies. Make the Mexicans. And while we are at it, let’s coopt the Chinese, Russians and a few larger economies.  We will need a few big players to make my plan work. These colonies won’t come cheap and we can’t just take floo powder to Diagon Alley to get the supplies we need. (A few readers are suspecting I snorted the floo powder right now ).

But we have a big world filled with economies that are wasting their resources on day-to-day living while our Martian colonies await us. Why should we let trivial concerns such as national sovereignty stop progress? We have the POTUS!

The POTUS is bold. He is not afraid to stand up for his convictions. Frankly, he does not seem to be afraid of anybody. And he has shown he is not afraid to act.

Readers, I suggest we all Tweet the POTUS to get the Martian Colonies project off the ground.

P.S. Please share today’s biographyjar entry with friends, family and other concerned sentient creatures. My dog Ginger fully supports my plan for example, although she remains unwilling to ride a rocket.  We will probably need many thousands of Tweets to get our agenda to the forefront.

Zombie phrase for the day:  It’s a cookbook!

Ihhzzzuhhh ooogghhhhooohhhgg.