Or better yet, be yourself with a spiffy new superhero name. BatJocelyn? Maybe not. I think WompRat Jocelyn is out, too, as Wombat Woman tumbles into the total reject pile.
The Kumquat Whisperer? That name has advantages. No league of superheroes is likely to try to draft me with a name like that. Still, what will I whisper to those kumquats? Probably any damn thing I want. It’s not like the kumquats care.
I see that I am looking at this all wrong. As we know, the wand picks the wizard. After I find my superpower, my name should come naturally.
Except Befuddlement doesn’t go with any spiffy connecting, explanatory appendages. Befuddlement Babe? That should keep me out of any and all leagues of superheroes for sure.
Which might not be a bad idea. When the aliens come through the hole in the sky, I think I plan to be in the basement making Whiskey Sours. Or I will be eating pizza by a quiet, mountain lake in the middle of nowhere.
Life Coaching advice: Don’t rush to find your superhero name. You don’t want to be near any holes in the sky anyway. I mean, let’s look at this realistically. Most of us would decide not to join the army for fear of going to Afghanistan or Some Korea. Why would we want to take on crazy Norse Gods or techno-crazed, wanna-be Nazis?
That said, you might take out a few hours to try to identify your superpowers, even if they aren’t as dramatic as turning humans to ice with your touch. There’s not nearly as much market for making ice-humans as the media suggests anyway. Now, top-notch bartenders, though… They can always find a place in today’s world.
