Some of us are lucky. We get the mom and/or dad we need. Maybe grandpa fills the gap when mom gets too busy with the new boyfriend, survivalist buddies, or ancestry.com. But the universe is busy dealing cards furiously and haphazardly. Maybe we get the dad who means well, rather than the dad who understands that we desperately could use ADHD medicine. Or the mom who knows she could have been a gymnastics star if she’d worked a few more hours each day, the mom who is not going to let us make the same mistake. Get back up on that beam!
Tricky place, 21st century Earth. I strongly suspect many people find the zombie apocalypse fascinating because they want to simplify their lives, not because they want the excitement and adventure that comes with a world of the walking dead. Simplify, our minds whisper. Stories of post-apocalyptic survival may appeal because the immediacy implied in that grim scenario blocks out before and after pictures. Our pasts are often the reason we prefer to escape our present and future.
If you never revisit the past, and your past and present seem fine, perhaps it’s hot chocolate time? I’ll suggest adding coffee ice cream to this version. A coffee milkshake instead? This post is not for you.
But if the past comes at you sometimes, fists raised, here’s a place to start: Wade out of the muck. Visualize the person you needed when you were younger — your dad, your mom, your grandpa, your teacher. You can channel that invisible person. Then address the issues with your invisible friend, family member or authority figure. You know what you felt was missing when you were younger, right? Ask what was going on back then that led to your troubles. Then listen to the answers.
Maybe you will find your gremlin had the best of intentions. Maybe you won’t. Leave yourself open to the possibility the gremlin will say, “What? I never noticed.” But try to get inside your Gremlin’s head. Slap him or her up the side of the head if that helps. One good thing about invisible Gremlins, they never put up much of a fight. They tend not to come up with self-serving excuses, either.
You probably already know your answers, even if you have never articulated them. Here are your invisible-people goals:
Remember who you were.
Be who you wanted to be.
In general, unfuck yourself.
I apologize for the language, but I can’t find a clearer two words to capture this idea.
