Sharing the World with the Undead

Mind Control! Landru is real!

“What the President meant to say was …”

How do Fox commentators know? How do Sean or Kellyanne know? Do the Russians know? Will the Russians share? Who knows? Is Julian Assange human? What secrets have the Ecuadorians been  hiding? Does Ecuador exist? Have you been to Ecuador, reader? How many people do you know who claim direct experience with this mysterious place, Ecuador?

Personally, what I think the POTUS meant to say was that we have to go to a single-payer healthcare system because the current plans cannot be sustained economically while offering the benefits of Obamacare. The Obamacare plans could not be sustained economically.  That’s what gave the telepaths an excuse — actually good and necessary reason — to take on the Leviathan named Healthcare.

Zombie phrase for the day:   Ecuador does not exist.

Gahhhdohhhzzz nahhhggssihhhidd.

Zombie Phrase for Today: I think our first move should be calling the Avengers. Ahhh dihnngk ahrr ihrrttoohb uhhdbee gahhhlingk ahbehnjuhrrs.

Health care appears to be poised on a precipice.

Let’s take today to reaffirm our commitment to social justice. The Walking Dead may have lost its way, but we need to remain clear: We are supposed to be the good guys. The Good Guys do not sit silently while cancer patients are thrown to the hordes.

Provided by a Facebook friend:

“For those worried about ACA coverage for themselves and their families. After hearing about the midnight repeal of the pre-exisiting conditions clause, [I] called Senator Warren’s office. The woman I spoke to said they are being flooded with calls, as are the offices of Speakers Ryan and McConnell.
Senator Warren’s staff member told me what would help the most would be to call the five Republican senators who have broken away from the GOP to demand a slow down of …the repeal. Tell them how much you appreciate their efforts to stop the train wreck and share your story.”
They are:
Senator Bob Corker – (202) 224-3344
Senator Lisa Murkowski – (202) 224-6665
Senator Rob Portman – (202) 224-3353
Senator Susan Collins – (202) 224-2523
Senator Bill Cassidy – (202) 224-5824

Thanks to all who call.

 

Brains taste delicious. If only I could move. Oh no. That dog is looking at me.

Braaayyynnnzz aaayyzzzd ihhshuzz. Ihvv uhhhhneee ahhhg uhhd ooovhh. ohhhhdooohh. Daaadahhhzzzz oooggeendd eee.

Zombie preparedness: A reminder not to be staring at our phones while we walk our dogs on winter sidewalks. I assume we are mostly smarter than that, but in those carrying the virus, lapses in judgement sometimes occur. No text is worth suddenly finding yourself face-to-face with the frozen undead.

Also, be damn careful of all that ice. For the next few months, we will be walking on dangerous paths sometimes, whether the undead are mobile or not.

A public service announcement from the Zombie Bio Blog.

 

Sometimes I question my sanity.

Zuuhhhdiiiiy ahhh gehduyun mah zahhhhhhadee.

Sometimes it replies.

Zuuhhhdiiiy ihhh uhbligh.

Can you make a Crisco candle ?

Undead translation: ggahhnnnoommehhgg gihhgohhgahhdahh?

Note for apocalypse fans: Dubious sources say these pseudo-lard candles can last up to 45 days. You need to use cotton, jute or another natural material for the wick. Please note the Crisco can is flammable, but if you can’t avoid setting yourself on fire with the Crisco, maybe it’s time to let the zombies in the gate.

What’s the harm in laying in a few cans of this hydrogenated delight? According to Crisco, unopened Crisco has an indefinite shelf life and the stuff lasts a year once opened if you don’t burn it up. The internet has tips for adding scent and color for readers who feel artistic or adventurous.

Zombie: gueeeeduuuweeeb uhhhz uhhhna ah buhhrdddab ah.

Translation: Keanu Reeves was one of the first of us.

Just a stray thought:

Watching an old second-generation Outer Limits episode about a computer taking over the world, I listen to  talk of mainframes, as I watch discs being frantically carried about, and I think of Columbo’s typewriter ribbons and daisy wheels. Too much technology dates movies and TV episodes immediately.

As I watch, characters are talking about the need to merge with their technology. How many of us carry our phones everywhere now? How many of us sleep with our phones?

Hmmm.

 

 

Sometimes all you need are uncooked burgers and a bird bath.

zzzummmdayzz awooeeurhhhh uhnnguhhggg urhhhurhh aha ihrrrbahh.

Readers:  What’s that perfect summer meal? Barbecue and corn on the cob? Salmon and gazpacho? Clam chowder on the beach? A simple turkey sandwich with potato salad and chips? Why not think about this for a minute, make a grocery list, and set out to create a few of your favorite summer classics?

Let’s carpe the hell out of these summer diems.  They don’t last.

 

English: “Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”

Zombie: “zzzhummdie ennn ahhgoze mīayyhhhz ahgahnzeeee”

Question for readers: Should we close our eyes more often? An observation from the recent cross-country road trip. I never missed the news for one moment. I found a bar in Big Sur for the NBA finals. That was all the TV I watched during the entire drive.

Of course, driving itself requires open eyes. As my friend Alex would observe, the number of drivers staring down at their laps is reaching epidemic proportions. I like how the some states are now labeling rest areas as texting zones.

Having a zombie blog, a biography blog and an education blog just seemed silly. I merged the biography and the zombies to simplify life. This “new” blog will be a bit disconnected for awhile as I attempt to fit my biography into tips for the apocalypse.

I still hope to encourage others to tell their life stories, with or without zombies.  As I noted in the previous bio blog, as a society, we have become so busy multitasking and screensucking that we are not telling our stories. In place of a campfire, we sit around large, flat-screen TVs, alone or in groups, and the conversation dies. We discuss plot lines, characters and tomorrow’s itinerary, tossing in fragments of our day. Our backstories are sacrificed to work and leisure demands, and electronics, supplemented by the latest developments in the Game of Thrones.

We need to tell our stories before they become lost in time. Many of us know the old stories, our parents’ stories, because once we took time to listen. Sometimes we listened quietly while dad sucked down bourbon around a grill, visiting friends who sat in camp chairs, cup holders and laps laden with their own bourbon and burgers. Other times we sat at dinner tables while family members recalled the stories of their youth. I remember eating grandma’s beet soup while my mother described her own mother’s livid anger after my mom accepted a meal from a nearby family during the Depression. Grandma was going to have to sacrifice a chicken to repay the favor. That chicken threw my calm, analytical grandmother into an uncharacteristic rage, a memory of hard times in the 1930’s that stayed with my mother through decades to come.

Do our children know our stories? Do our friends know our stories? Do we know our own stories?

Whether we stumble into apocalyptic times or not, we are always charting our lives’ directions. Here’s a first question: Do you own your screen or does the screen own you?

Are you clicking on link after link, spending minutes of your life finding out what Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston have in common? Are you reading about abnormal eating behaviors in frontotemporal dementia? Or are you even keeping up with the Kardashians? If so, maybe it’s time to write, not read.

(I don’t want to seem overly judgmental here. Readers, if you feel like researching the adventures of Tom and Taylor, I’d say go for it. I am merely concerned about the amount of time that gets lost to that click-click-click, as link by link, we travel down the rabbit hole.)