All posts by Jocelyn the Plaid

“When two paths open before you, take the harder one,” it says. I’d say proverbs like this are one reason why the world needs life coaches and mental health professionals. No. Simply no. File this proverb away with “True love is truly amazing only when it’s truly true.” What?!?? Some sayings are simply silly. This… Read More

“$350 jeans are dead. $100 leggings killed them”!! That’s what the Washington Post says anyway. I can still find those holey jeans out there, so rumors of their demise may be premature. But the fact that Walmart sells holey jeans cannot be good for those who are ripping denim at the most exalted levels. True… Read More

Are you Groot? Are you an ent? A would-be time lord? Elrond’s second cousin from Montana? Who are you? If fantasy plays no role in your life, I confess I don’t understand you at all. In my world, Groots and Rockets make life better. We need Talosians, elves, wizards and flying dragons.  I’d love to be… Read More

Just for fun I offer the following haiku: Errant Spectacles Where are my glasses? Ran away with shoes and keys! They come. They go. Damn.

Speaking of magic, reader, I’d like to make an observation about yesterday’s ruminations. You had a craving. Maybe you even had a plan, a set of carefully laid-out intentions. Somehow you were thwarted. Keep in mind that without Ron’s broken wand, Gilderoy Lockhart’s memory charm would have succeeded. Sometimes a taped-up, misfiring wand is exactly what you need. Sometimes the… Read More

  Lessons from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: 1) Don’t give up. A Ford Anglia can fly up to your window at any time. Or you can pretend a Ford Anglia has flown up to your window. In fact, you don’t even need the Ford Anglia. First floor window? If you are in good shape,… Read More

This post title comes courtesy of a young man in a plaid shirt and backwards baseball cap that reads, “Give Life to Your Story.”  Definitely a thinning-hair hat. He’s no gansta. He’s sitting with two girls, possibly past their teen years, but not by much. They are deep in gossip about some poor woman who… Read More

As we wait for the zombie apocalypse, which has been very slow in coming, we are bombarded with News. Can we make heads or tails of this stuff? Or piñatas?  I liked Putin’s assertion that the alleged Russian hacking was actually U.S. hackers attempting to frame Russia. Who the hell can prove it? Who the hell… Read More

They come. They go. Sometimes they go very fast and other people go, “What the hell?” Our resilience is being tested by current events. Say to yourself, “Well, at least this is not the zombie apocalypse.” I find that helps. One less FBI director? Comey did have a few dubious moments. He may have cost… Read More

Where are our Martian colonies? Where are the hardy settlers setting up shiny, silver domes and trundling across the sandy, red landscape in their special Marsmobiles? Where are the potatoes, carrots, squashes, turnips, and tomatoes grown in recycled air by brave men and women, a few of whom no doubt will be ready to kill for Whopper® or Dove® bar as the… Read More