All posts by Mississippi Maxie

Stout. Sturdy. And with a handy hole for rat or turkey head insertion. This is the ideal door, made of layers of thick, solid wood. Now all you need is a cellar.

My preoccupation with turkeys is becoming a problem for me. Muhhbburrgghhbayzshuhn ihdurgeeezzzbb uhmmin ah raahllmm vveee.

I prefer to live in the moment. Ahhbbuhr ihhb ihdda ohhhnnnt.

Turkey heads are high in fiber you know. Duhjhrgee uuddzzzuhhr ayynn vhwayhvuhrr oohhnohh.

What became of those heads? I assume we are not breeding headless turkeys, although almost no one really knows what goes on inside poultry farms. The farmers don’t talk and the turkeys can’t talk. It’s an ideal set-up for a conspiracy. Let’s say, for example, that the government is breeding zombies as part of a… Read More

Who is eating those turkey heads? Where do they go? Ooozze eedihzzzz duhhrgee ehddzz? Ehhhrrrdd day gohh?

(Zombie have great trouble keeping track of the days.)

Why do they take the head off the turkey? Where do the heads go? I want to find the secret head repository.  Ayyh duhz aayydd ayygghhzz ehhdvv zz duhrrgee? Ehhrr duhz uhh uhhds guhh? Ahh ahhndd duh vahhndd duhzzeegred uhhdruh pahhzzzdree. 

The Cremation Amendment will be a good start, but we still need to prepare. Preparedness — because those zombies aren’t going to kill themselves. We need at least one more amendment. It occurs to me that allowing Congress to approve the Secretary of Zombie Affairs, as is commonly the case with presidential appointments, creates a… Read More

A harmless museum in Europe somewhere? Or a repository for the undead? At what point do the dead cease to be dead? I don’t know and neither do you. We need an amendment requiring cremation of all the dead. Just to kill (and cremate) two birds with one stone, we might link this to an… Read More