Or at least I think I am. The real question is this: If I think, and therefore am, does that preclude my being a zombie?
This is going to be a challenge. I intend to step back into my old life. Thanks to medical science, (I’m sorry about those guys), a slow thaw, and face paint, I look pretty good. No one would suspect I am a zombie. I believe I can maintain my facade.
Actually, the teaching shortage where I live might render the point moot. Would they even care if they realized I craved the mushy, gray matter between their ears? Would they even notice?
Regular reports should be coming if I can maintain my understanding of this machine. The machines are tricky now. If humans were smarter, they would know they have created too many buttons. I understand vol, ch, guide, and back, but menu is filled with weird words. I do not want to know what is trending and I do not want a multiview. A single view is confusing enough. Humans have two eyes on one side of their head because no one should have more than one view. Other questions plague me. What are the colored A, B and C keys on the remote? Do I need to know? I’m afraid to “go interactive.” How can I “exit to TV” when I never left the TV in the first place?
Too many buttons. Too many buttons. Then more buttons appear on screens. Did I make these choices when I was human? I remember watching TV, so I must have.
I will have to figure out how to use the touchscreens, too. At my body temperature, the screens do not answer me. Maybe I could get a warm jelly machine from the manicure women. I could heat my hands before stroking the little, black box. I need my phone. I need the games. I need to luminosify myself. I can’t brain today. I have the dumb.
I expect I will brain better as I my temperature rises.
Welcome back readers. I am going to go make tea.
