If you hit the gong with donuts, it does not work too good.
Ihvvooh ihdduh guhhnn wihdduhnuzz iduhhnn uhrkkdoo goohh.
The One Who Dies with the Most Toys Is Dead
Or undead. Whatever. Toys are not the answer. Too many toys will weigh you down when you have to travel light. Plus the desire for more toys can distract us from what matters — taking care of our own lives and your loved ones. As part of New Year’s meanderings, why not take a few minutes to write down what matters in your life. Every so often it’s good to check in on this.
Copied from the net — Almost Surely Protozombies
Robbers mistakenly break into KFC, expecting a jewelry store
By Mike Krumboltz | The Sideshow – 6 hrs ago
The scene of the crime in Beaudesert, Australia (Google Maps with Street View)Somebody took a wrong turn at the deep fryer. A pair of crooks in Australia found themselves in an unusual spot when they attempted to tunnel into a jewelry store but ended up in a KFC restaurant on New Year’s Eve.
The mishap took place near Brisbane, Australia. Fortunately nobody was hurt. When they saw where they were, the two alleged thieves, Peter Welsh and Dwayne Doolan, decided to hold up the customers. They left with about $2,700. But they didn’t escape for long. Welsh and Doolan were arrested a short time later.
According to a report from Australia’s Sky News, the pair “smashed their way through a wall in a communal toilet block tunnel, hoping to enter Wrights Jewellers.” Instead, they found themselves in a land of herbs and spices. This was not their first attempt to break into the jewelry store. Before the KFC fiasco, the pair mistakenly broke into an Animal Welfare League Opportunity Shop, where they stole about $50 from a charity plate.
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All I can say is this: I doubt these guys are still human, and they are probably about to go into the ravenous stage. Stay away from their teeth.
Zombie Phrase for the Day
I don’t really miss the internet.
Ahhhduhnn ihlih iszz duhh nuhtt.
In a zoo in Europe in the year 2423 AD
The survivors of this century’s apocalypse will look at this wall and will realize that some prescient soul from our time predicted the end of their world. A few hardy believers will promptly start putting away food and water to prepare for the Simian Virus that is about to wipe out humankind. In our way, humans are predictable. We always have to be preparing for the end.
A wall mural in a zoo? Or a warning?
Against discrimination!
Protozombies need support too. Compliment their dog. Let them know you support them, at least as long as they’re not slurry and shuffly. We all may be slurry and shuffly someday.
P.S. If you encounter these people in a bar, you should let a little of the slurry and shuffly go, too. Any couple walking around with a pink-winged dog is probably losing their grip on social norms and protocols, but they are definitely not near the must-eat-brains-now stage.
Zombie Phrase for the Day
At least I no longer need my Prozac.
Ahhhllihhdd ahhnn luhnger needum bahzzahhgg.
Zombie Defense Scheme 2
Zombies eat brains. O.K., but we need to ask ourselves another question: What don’t zombies eat? What CAN’T zombies eat? Onions are bad for dogs. This might naturally lead us to a related question: How much onion does it take to poison a zombie?
This could be lots of fun. The idea is to force feed onions to a zombie until we learn the approximate fatal dosage, preferably in grams per kilogram . For our experiment, we will need a number of zombies and a few truly crazed volunteers. We might also need an engineer. I believe we’ll want to create tools so that we can do our force feeding from a distance.
We need multiple zombies because I don’t want to see any schlock science here. Our results need to be repeated before we go public. No half-baked schemes! (Although sauteing the onions is a perfectly viable option.)
After we’re done with onions, we can start on other fruits, vegetables and random canned goods.
A zombie defense scheme
Zombie defense scheme: We lay piles of brains at the base of this and other similar structures and then fire small rockets at the rock above, toppling the rock and crushing the gobbling zombies below.Some of you are no doubt about to suggest that we simply put the brains in a hole and capture those unfortunates whose cravings lead them to fall into the hole.
All I can say is, where’s the fun in that? I want to shoot rockets.
Zombie Phrase for the Day
I ate my dentist. It was a mistake.
Ahhhdddmuhhdduhndzzz. Duhhzzzahmm dayyke.
